The person you care about is spending more and more time with AI. Their relationships are suffering. Their work or school performance has declined. They seem distant, distracted, and increasingly unavailable. You've tried mentioning it casually. It didn't work. A more structured approach may be needed.
Preparation is everything
An intervention without preparation usually backfires. Before having the conversation, document specific observable changes: "You've missed three family dinners this month," not "You're always on your phone." Gather concrete examples. Choose a time when the person is calm and not actively using AI. Consider having one or two other concerned people present — not as a mob, but as evidence that multiple people have noticed the pattern.
Lead with love, not accusation
Start by expressing your care: "I'm bringing this up because you matter to me." Use "I" statements: "I feel worried when I see..." rather than "You always..." The goal is to help the person see their own pattern, not to make them defensive. The moment they feel attacked, they stop listening.
Name specific impacts
Be concrete about the effects you've observed. "We used to talk every evening, and now you're on your phone." "You missed your son's game because you were in a chat session." "Your manager mentioned your work quality has changed." Specific, factual observations are harder to dismiss than general accusations.
Offer support, not ultimatums
The conversation should end with an offer, not a threat. "I'd like to help you find a healthier balance. What would be useful?" This puts the person in the driver's seat while making clear that support is available. Ultimatums tend to produce compliance without genuine change, or outright resistance.
Accept the timeline
Change rarely happens from a single conversation. The intervention may plant a seed that takes weeks or months to germinate. Your role is to express concern clearly and offer support. Their role is to decide what to do with that information, on their own timeline.
A shared quiz can open the door to conversation. Share our quiz as a non-confrontational starting point.